New to the group, but unfortunately not to caregiving

This forum was created for those with an incredibly hard task: taking care of someone they love who is ill.

New to the group, but unfortunately not to caregiving

Postby jens41472 » Sat Jul 16, 2016 6:16 pm

Hi my name is Jen, I'm 44 yrs old. I lost my 1st husband to melanoma 7 1/2 yrs ago after a 15 yr battle. I remarried, and almost 8 months ago my 2nd husband was diagnosed with stage 3b melanoma on the bottom of his right foot. We have 6 children between the 2 of us, and 4 grandchildren. My 3 children were 15(daughter), and 12 (twin boys) when we lost their dad. 2 of them have not dealt with their step dad being diagnosed with melanoma well at all, my other son never really developed much of a relationship with his step dad. In fact my daughter and one son and I have both been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD within the last 8 months. But I manage all the same. We have losted everything, from jobs, all income, health insurance, etc.

Now my current struggle is my anxiety and trying to help my husband learn to live in the here and now, and that this is our new normal. He is not really able to take care of himself anymore, I get his medications together for him for the week, I have to remind him to take everything, his memory isn't very good anymore etc. So he is pretty much stuck at home whereas before he worked 2 jobs and was on the go all the time.

He feels sorry for me, for doing this to me again....and I can't get him to understand that it's not a matter of feeling sorry for me, but that I need him to try on a daily basis to work on himself and try to bring himself together. I've managed to get a job early enough in the morning so I can usually get back home around lunch time so I am still able to take care of him but it's not enough to pay the bills.

Some days I just feel like getting into my car at the end of my shift and driving and driving and driving....but I know that's not the answer either......... :cry:
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 5:37 pm

Re: New to the group, but unfortunately not to caregiving

Postby Catherine Poole » Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:38 am

I would call social services and your doctor and ask for help at home. It should be covered. You both need to have counseling and help at home. I hope you ask and recieve..
Catherine M. Poole, President/Founder
Melanoma International Foundation
Catherine Poole
Posts: 11011
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:09 am

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