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    Not too sure where to start but here we go. My step father is 43 with stage 4 metatastic melanoma he is quickly deteriorating after unsuccessful attempts of yervoy and still having regular treatments of MK -3475. He has no appetite and makes poor food choices, as a result he has lost a huge amount of weight. He now uses a mobility aid to move around between his frequent naps. I have also noticed that he has been taking too many pain killers, he is taking on average 2 endone every 2 hrs when his recommended doseage is 1 every 3hrs.

    He leaves behind my mother who suffers from chronic emphysema, a 13yr old daughter whom since has depression (wont seek help) and separation anxiety and my 7yr old sister whom has rubinstein taybi syndrome. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with an 20mnth old at home who adores his grand dad.

    We have always grown up as a family that arent very big talkers hence im not overly sure on the specifics and severity of his condition. How do i help them? I visit them most days but struggle to get them to seek outside help and i can only do so much for them during my pregnancy. neither of them have funeral plans or any type of insurance/savings and my knowledge of this sort of thing is nil as ive never had to think about anything like this until now.

    My main worry too is that my step dad may never get the chance to meet his first grand daughter and i frightens me that she will never feel the love that her brother has felt and how do i explain to him that his grand dad is sick and that when he goes he is never coming back. Im sorry if this is a tad over the place but my thoughts are a jumble at the moment. Any advice is appreciated as to how i can help my family.

    Catherine Poole

    Hi, I’m glad you reached out to us. You can’t do this alone! You need outside help from hospice and other social services. I would call your father’s doctor and speak to these needs. You do need someone from the outside to come in and help get things organized. But this is way too much to be on one person’s plate. Do you also have a county social services agency? Do some homework for your area. Also I recommend you might call: APOS Helpline for immediate help: APOS’ Toll-Free HELPLINE – 1-866-276-7443 (1-866-APOS-4-HELP) is a national resource to help people with cancer and their caregivers find emotional support in their own communities.

    keep in touch and let us know how things are going. WE are here to help!

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