Home Forums For Caregivers Only Anger and Metastatic Melanoma

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  • #21189
    Sandalwood36
    Participant

    Can anyone shed some light on how they deal with their loved one’s anger and depression? After receiving several treatments to shrink tumors in his stomach and liver (with no success), my husband has become extremely depressed and angry. Unfortunately he frequently displays angry/hurtfull outbursts directed at those that love him the most. This is causing additional stress and pain for all who live in our home (including his 75 year old mother). He is always apologetic for his behavior after the fact, but he cant seem to control himself. While hIs anger is certainly understandable, his outbursts are becoming progressively harder to deal with. At this point i am seriously concerned for his moms physical and mental health. Has anyone else encountered this that can suggest ways to help us cope &/or help him to redirect his displaced anger?

    #60068
    Catherine Poole
    Keymaster

    Although anger and depression are normal, what is happening here isn’t. This is such a difficult and distressing situation for you, your husband and family. According to our psycho/oncology expert: “when these symptoms persist, intensify and interfere with daily function, assessment by a mental health professional is recommended. For your husband, these symptoms have escalated to an unsafe level and should be immediately addressed before, as you point out, the distress escalates to violence. So to start, your husband needs a comprehensive psychological evaluation. Various coping techniques such as cognitive/behavioral approaches can be useful as an adjunct, however, when distress is this pronounced, those techniques alone are often not sufficient. Is his oncologist aware of the level of distress that your husband is experiencing? If not, I suggest that you inform him/her immediately. Many multidisciplinary oncology teams have psychologists/psychiatrists to whom they refer patients. If an oncology team referral is not available, request from your husband’s oncologist the names of psychiatrists that have experience treating patients with cancer. I hope this advice is useful to you and you can get him treatment fast.” Please keep in touch with us here.

    #60069
    Sandalwood36
    Participant

    Thank you for your concern and suggestions. We will definitely discuss this issue with the onc at the next appt. in the mean time my husband has agreed to go back on an antidepressant. Please rest assured that his outbursts are only verbal. My concern for my mother in laws health is based on my fear that his rants will eventually affect her physical condition (ie blood pressure; ulcers; etc.). God bless all who are suffering with and from this disease.

    #60070
    DadZGirl
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m sorry to hear about your family’s situation, but can relate to it. Sometimes these feelings of anger and outbursts can be medication related – like with steroids. If he is on steroids discuss that with your onc too. I wouldn’t wait for your next onc appt unless it is this week. If you can get in sooner, perhaps you should. Sometimes we all need help dealing with this stuff. I hope you get some good assistance. Prayers and hugs to you.

    Laura

    #60071
    Sandalwood36
    Participant

    Thank you Catherine & Laura!

    Thankfully my husband’s onc was able to convince him to take an antidepressant (Lexapro), & within 1.5 weeks he was acting like a new person.

    This horrific disease is hard enough for everyone to deal with, without the added burden of clinical depression & displaced anger.

    #60072
    Catherine Poole
    Keymaster

    Glad to hear the meds are helping. Sometimes having counseling along side of the meds is a good idea too. There is much to be mad about for all involved. I can readily understand it. There seems so much unfairness and instability and the disease can take over your life. Thanks for sharing here as it may help others. Keep in touch.

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