Home Forums Melanoma Diagnosis: Stage IV bad feeling for not going before to doctor. . .

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  • #22093
    jualonso
    Participant

    Hi , im sure im not the only one that has a very bad feeling because i could have gone before to the doctor, and unfortunatly, i did not go. Could you tell me your experience about how to overcome this feeling and go forward?

    Thanks and good luck to all of you in this fight

    #64977
    kylez
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve got a few of those regrets too.

    “Stop regretting things you cant change.”

    Saw that the other day and it is my sense too, and not just about melanoma. One thing I’ve been integrating a little bit of mindfulness technique to in part rein in mental obsessions about many ‘what if’ scenarios.

    #64978
    MathewR
    Participant

    I agree with Kyle’s response. Definitely consider a mindfulness meditation course (I think a live/in person course is more effective than just working with CDs and books–my personal opinion). I’d also recommend the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”, which I read around the time of my Stage IV diagnosis last summer. Written by a rabbi, but the messages speak to any faith. One takeaway is to move past anger (including anger directed at yourself) as quickly as possible–not a useful thought pattern because it doesn’t lead anywhere. That said, I still have my moments (mostly guilty feelings pertaining to my young children). I’m sure we all do.

    #64979
    cheris
    Participant

    Hi, Jualonso,

    I constantly battle those feelings. I know that I put myself in this position. I waited a year to go to the dermatologist, cancelling four appointments because of my work schedule. I probably would have originally been stage I, but instead started at stage IIb. I often times wish I could go back and redo that year, four years ago. I was also so uninformed because I thought skin cancer was just surgically removed and that was it. I wish you peace. I say the Serenity prayer a lot.

    Cheris

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