Home Forums Melanoma Diagnosis: Stages I &II Feeling very anxious lately

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  • #21566
    Jdk27
    Participant

    Its been a few months since I have posted, but I do check the site out a couple of times a week. There is, ALOT of good information in this group, thank you to all who help in ANYWAY.

    I was feeling very anxious when I would look at any thing that had to do with MEL. For that reason, I felt it was best for me to “not look” anymore, (the bad stuff) was over powering me and I need to stay focused and live life, right? Well, lately I have been VERY ANXIOUS, I am feeling lumps in places I have not felt before. Under my arm, on my bicep next to surgery site, near my calf and so on……were they there before? is it just scar tissue from having lipo years ago? IS it just knots on or near my muscles? I have had 2 massages lately and 2 different therapist who have felt them, and a couple I didn’t realize I had. Am I just being paranoid? I look at my skin ALL the time, have a couple of “new” spots on my chest , one of them is little, but looks a little darker, the other is a red bump the size of an eraser, and I have about 8 red spots on my neck and back that are itchy, flaky, and don’t go away. I am pretty sure they are at least pre squamous, as they look like the one I had off already (which was a SQUAMOUS CELL CARCINOMA). IF you remember, or not, I had two melanoma insitu and 3 melanoma (all .5 and smaller) within the last 5 months, 4 removed april 9, and I removed at Moffitt cancer center may 18. (that was my 3rd opinion, and all the same.) SO, I see my derm next week after 3 months of NOT seeing her and wonder, is that why I feel nervous and anxious right now? I feel sick to my stomach, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I promised myself I would not do that, I refuse to live my life in fear, enjoy each and every second of it, but……struggling the last 2 weeks….is this the norm? I feel like I have cancer all over….and I HATE that feeling.

    #62450
    BigRed1984
    Participant

    It might seem impossible but it will get easier. You will always live with the fear, but in time it will become much less intense. Eventually you may go weeks without even thinking about melanoma! At least that has been my experience. At first it was all consuming and I spent countless hours in front of the mirror poking and prodding myself. Gradually my freak outs have become spaced further and further apart. Over time you will literally memorize your skin and any change is going to stick out like a sore thumb. I suggest getting professional full body photography. It’s not perfect but helpful. On occasion I will think I found a new mole only to put in my disk and realize it was there all along. I wish you luck!

    #62451
    Jdk27
    Participant

    Well I did go to derm, burned 19 things off of my face, biopsied 3 spots. Came back 1 pre squamish and pre basil so feel much better about that. The lump near my insitu spot, she felt that it was scar tissue, like myself. Mri just as a precaution, that came back inconclusive, radiologist said a dense mass but couldn’t make it out. I have the option to remove it or wait for another mri in 3 months. I decided to go to the plastic surgeon who did the surgery and he feels like we all do, scar tissue. it was just an insitu at that spot anyway. Feel VERY good and satisfied about it all.

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