Freaking Out and I have a 3yr old!!

[gophertee]

So last week Wednesday I went to the Derm to check a round spot on my right arm. It was not a mole or freckle but round, brown and just barely the size of an eraser. The Derm looked at it with her 10x powered lights and even said she did not think it was Melanoma. Well today at 9AM I got the Pathology report back and it IS Malignant Melanoma. I met with the Surgeon just minutes ago and I will be going in Monday to have a larger incision and biopsy of the lymphnode. The surgeon said because the depth is less than 1mm we could probably be safe not checking the lymphnodes but prefer to be over cauticious and being I am under, why not.

When I walked into the Derm and surgeon’s office I asked them one question, “

Quote:

Will I be around for my daughter’s birthday(s)” She is only 3.

They both looked and said yes, yes, yes! According to the Derm and surgeon, if you wanted to catch Melanoma early, this would be the time to catch it.

Any support would be great, I have a feeling I will be on this site discussing my progress as well as listen to others. I just look at my 3yr old little girl and want to throw up thinking I will not be around. Makes me sick! So I hope the doctors are not BS’ing me and just telling me what cancer folks want to hear. 😥

Below are the results from the pathology report.

Type: Melanoma

Depth of Invasion: 0.9mm

Ulceration: Negative

Mitotic Count: Negative

Regression: Negative

Tumor infilitrating Lymphocytes: Negative

Associated Melanocytic Nevus: Negative

Predominant Cytology: Epitheloid

Angiolymphatic Invasion: Negative

Perineural Invasion: Negative

Microscopic Sattelites: Negative

[Sznn]

Hi,

I too was rather shell shocked when I first heard my diagnosis.

Here I am just 2 weeks later, totally OK with it.

I am not an expert but I am pretty confident you will be just fine.

Just have to keep a diligent eye on all moles and be sun smart.

I suggest a nice glass of wine and some chocolate…best anti anxiety cure ever!

[gophertee]

LOL Thanks Sznn, YES Wine and Chocolate will go good tonight with my Wife. Happy Freakin Mothers Day huh? I mean I expected t get her something, just not this.

Well, if you think of it. Because the Derm and surgeon said I caught this early, maybe this IS a good Mothers Day gift

[Worrywart]

Get a second opinion on pathology to confirm depth/diagnosis. This is a good idea for all cancer dx.

I would get an SNB for a .9 lesion. Many docs do it for any lesion over .75. You have no mitosis which is good – that means it wasn’t that fast growing/aggressive.

[7spider]

I agree w/ Worrywart. Mine was.88mm and I did have mitosis, so I had to do the SLNB. Fortunatly everything came back clear. Definetly stressful though. I’d go ahead and do the test just to put your mind at ease and make sure it has not spread. Good Luck !

[cohanja]

So you’re fully informed. . a negative result is not a guarantee of not spreading. Of course, it’s a wonderful result to get, but a clear SNB tells you that at this particular moment in time the first node in the path is clear. By having your nodes tested, if they come back positive you will know your disease is is at a more serious stage and have time to possibily stop the spread, and closer follow up. Thisis the main reason to have it done. But, cells could already be in stream as the SNB was done, or cells happened to go to a different node, or travel through the bloodstream, etc. . . I used to think negative SNB was a guarantee, but it’s not. It’s for diagnostic purposes at this moment in time.

[7spider]

Where did I say I was an expert Cohanja. You always seem to have something more to say, like you know so much more than everyone else. You want to freak yourself out . Fine ! Newly diagnosed people are already freaked out, so quit playing DR.

[7spider]

Sorry for the little distraction on your thread gophertee. Seriously I hope everything goes well w/ your procedures. We all go thru the freakout stage. For me the advise from Catherine and some of the others really helped me. Second opinions, deal with people that are considered melanoma experts, the meditation thing helps and I suppose the wine suggestion may also help calm the nerves as well. Anway hope everything goes well for

you.

[cohanja]

I never said you were an expert, I never said I am an expert. I’m not. I’m not playing Dr, I’m informing. I wish I had been more informed about what SNB results actually mean before I decided to get one. I was led to believe a negative result is a guarantee of something, only to find out later (after I already did it) that it’s really just diagnostic and isn’t a guarantee of anything. If information freaks people out, I’m not sure what can be done about that. But I think being armed with all aspects of a decision with the information on all sides is valuable. I don’t know why it warrants such a strongly negative response. When I was newly diagnosed, more than anything else, I was looking for information, for the facts, whether I liked what I was hearing or not. I did not want just the positive rosy rainbows and butterflies side of things, I wanted the real factual information on what things meant, so I could make better more informed decisions. That is what I wanted when I was newly diagnosed, whether it freaked me out or not. Everyone is different I guess.

[cohanja]

I don’t think having more to say is behaving like you know so much more than everyone else. Isn’t that what a forum is for, to have something more to say? I don’t know more than everyone else, I think I know about the average for a person diagnosed 2 years ago with Stage I, on par with everyone else in the same boat. That’s the problem with interacting with people only via writing – if you knew me, you’d know I’m totally not the type of person that acts like they know more than everyone else. But I guess you can make that assumption about me based on a few sentences I type on a forum. That may say more about you than it does about me.

[Worrywart]

True – no guarantees with SNB, but a negative SNB is one more positive trait to add to your low-risk cancer diagnosis.

[7spider]

So true, No guarantees, but that goes for just about everything. Think positive and hope for the best, all you can really do in my opinion.

[Catherine Poole]

Absolutely, there are no guarantees in life and some folks have a really hard time with that. Not too long ago we didn’t live beyond age 40 and now many expect to live forever. Have you seen Barbara Walters at 83?

We all can do our best to be healthy with exercise, good eating habits, early detection check ups and spiritual work/meditation etc. But again no guarantee, just faith we are doing our best. And dwelling on the “what ifs” isn’t healthy!

[7spider]

Thankyou Catherine ! Your words always have helped me. Now I am going outside on this beautiful sunny day ( sunscreen and hat included ) to finish painting my fence

[toastwave]

Hi,

I just wanted to say to hang in there. When I was first diagnosed (lower risk borderline lesion but this thing behaves unpredictably and, anyway, no one ever expects that phone call) my little one was 10 months old. She is turning three this summer and we have a second on the way due soon. All I could do was look at her and start crying; I was truly a mess. It has gotten better. I still get anxious when I wait for a biopsy result and definitely hate having to deal with this but, you know what, I get to see her grow up every single day and I really try to make each of those days count. The oncologist who did my second opinion office visit sat me down (because I was such a nervous wreck) and said that I had a greater chance of dying from getting behind the wheel of my car and driving down the highwaythan from that one mole. Though our circumstances are not the same, I think that just knowing exactly what you are dealing with right now (get the lymph nodes checked) and then remaining extremely vigilant (monthly check-ups at home and 3-month follow-ups with a good derm that specializes in mel) is the best we can do. That and living life to the fullest. I know this all seems impossible right now but you will be amazed at how much time really helps. Hang in there and hug your baby. Also, reach out to your partner/friends/family/etc…most people don’t realize that skin cancer can be serious so they do not respond “appropriately” in terms of providing support so it kind of ends up falling on us to get them to understand so that we can get the support we need. I even went to a shrink for a month. Like the docs said, chances are you will be able to hug her all the way to when she is embarassed by it .

Good luck with the WLE and the SNB!

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