Home Forums Melanoma Diagnosis: Stage IV Love Survives Cancer: great story

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  • #20727
    Catherine Poole
    Keymaster

    http://www.nytimes.com/video/2011/05/16/health/100000000821590/love-endures-all-even-cancer.html

    Pati sent this along and I took it down at one point because it bothered some because of it is very sad. But Bettin brought it back. So please don’t watch it if you are looking for a story with a happy ending.

    #57273
    Shirley Z
    Participant

    Icredibly sad story, especially when it involves someone so young. Praying for the family.

    Shirley Z

    #57274
    denisem0725
    Participant

    Wow. What a wonderful young lady! I cant imagine. My grandmother has advanced melenoma and last Tuesday my grandparents celebrated their 58th anniversary. It was sad but beautiful. It is nice to see love in the face of this horrible horrible disease.

    #57275
    bettin
    Participant

    Very hard to watch and very true. It’s important to know that there is something that even Melanoma can’t take from us….

    #57276
    ELOVESE2
    Participant

    You are right Bettina cancer can’t take the love and the memories from us. But that I feel is the worst part, this Saturday the 17th of November it will be 3 months that my Elliot stopped suffering but I feel his loss every morning when I wake up. It’s a sharp pain in my stomach a reminder that he is not here. I don’t know how I go on. I know that death is a part of life but the pan and anger I feel are consuming me. I no longer see beauty in life, sorry.

    Erika 😥

    #57277
    Laurie
    Participant

    Erika,

    Please know that my heart goes out to you over the loss of your husband. I know how I would feel if my husband was no longer with me.

    Pain and anger are a very common reaction to death, but if it is consuming you, you need to address it. I lost my mother when I was 16 years old. I cannot begin to tell you how angry I was over her death. But I can tell you that I waited way too long to deal with my anger and get help; it ate me up inside for way too long. I lost out on a great deal of my youth over my anger.

    There are many options for you, grief counseling whether individual or in groups can be very helpful. Please know that we are here to support you through this most difficult time. Sending my love and comfort your way. Laurie

    #57278
    bettin
    Participant

    Dear Erika,

    I am so sorry for your loss and unfortunately, I do know how it feels as Peter only died in February this year- sometimes it feels as if it was yesterday. There is no day where I don’t miss him and I just assume that this will continue for the rest of my life. The pain doesn’t get less but I seem to get used to it, it has become a part of my life and of who I am now.

    Life is changing in general, some of the lightness of before is gone and sometimes I miss just no longer being able to really worry about totally irrelevant things for lack of real problems.

    On the other hand, I look at my daughters and I just can’t help but think that life is also utterly beautiful and amazing and simply wonderful, something to enjoy and to be grateful for.

    I am also grateful for having known Peter at all- I was very upset and angry when he was diagnosed with Melanoma. It was him who told me not to waste my energy on something I couldn’t change but to focus on what I could and he repeated that just before he died- and I am thinking about it every single day. I read somewhere that anger is like acid- it destroys the vessel that holds it- and I for my part have decided that if Melanoma already took my husband’s life, I’m not going to let it ruin mine and my children’s life on top.

    Wishing you all the best in this hard time-

    Bettina

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