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    Catherine Poole

    What a rough path you’ve been on and I hope things ease a bit. I would think inpatient hospice would be best for all concerned. I’m sure she realizes what is happening and having palliative care is often a good idea. Perhaps the temodar and other therapy is preventing the hospice care? Temodar really wouldn’t be helpful at this juncture from what I’ve seen in the literature, but care devoted to her comfort and wellbeing would be. And is someone taking care of you? I hope you have some support and your workplace will be more understanding. Please stay in touch with us.


    My best friend died this morning at the Gosnell House, I was holding her hand when she took her last breath and her heart beat it’s last beat. She’s with her mom (died in 1988 of cancer) and with her beloved dog Brandon and my mom. It was hard to come home after 10 days of staying with Sandra at the hospital and then at the Gosnell House. I kept seeing things that she used or wore that reminded me of her. Her dad and I are meeting with the funeral home to discuss the arrangements. I’m going to suggest that that in lew of flowers that donations be made to MIF. Sandra was unaware of this website, I was the only one using it. I know over time that this large hole left in my life will get smaller as life goes on. I will never forget my best friend for life. RIP Sandra Mae.


    Dear Doug,

    My sincere condolences on the death of your best friend and beloved wife. I hope you find comfort in knowing you did such a great job of taking care of Sandra and did all you possibly could to fight melanoma and then to make her comfortable. May you be surrounded by people who love you as you prepare to honor the life of your wife.

    For what its worth, my husband has been gone for two and a half months and his boots are at the back door and his slippers next to his side of the bed. I do not want to move them. They give me great comfort for some inexplicable reason so know you are not alone at being reminded of Sandra at every turn. Try to sleep as much as you can in the next few days. You will need the energy.

    I will keep you in my prayers.



    Catherine Poole

    Ann has great advice. Try to restore yourself with rest and relaxation. You’ve been in a rough place for a long time and now your wife can rest in peace without further pain. I know what you mean about things reminding you of your loved one that is gone too. I have many of my mother’s things that are simple and small but mean so much to me. Take good care of yourself now, Sandra would want that for you. You were a great caregiver to her.


    Doug, I’m so sorry.

    Sandra’s struggle is complete. She is free. You were wonderful. You helped her transition with love and kindness. You gave a great part of yourself to help her to the next step of her being and did so freely, and compassionately.

    There is no greater love.

    Now rest as best you can for your journey ahead. That hole in your soul will indeed heal. It will take time but believe me when I say it will happen. We go on. And we will thrive.



    Sandra and I choose this song to be our first dance as husband and wife at our wedding over twenty years ago. Who would’ve known back then, that this song would represent the love and commitment we had for each other during her valiant battle against her disease. I can’t listen to now it without sobbing uncontrollably.


    Thanks for listening. And god bless you all.

Viewing 6 posts - 16 through 21 (of 21 total)
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