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  • #21656
    AndyT
    Participant

    My lovely wife passed away at 37 a month ago after a long fight with metastatic melanoma. Although the pain is still overwhelming, what I want to share with you is that you should never give up. Even if the prognosis is less than bad, enjoy each and every minute you have with you loved ones. Once they are gone you’d give anything, literally anything for only 5 more minutes with them, so don’t go wasting time when you have them by your side. Live it fully.

    My dear wife was so brave, even with multiple brain mets and a rapidly progressing disease, she lived fully and took the most of every minute. She ran 10km with a 12cm tumor in her abdomen, only 2 days after a whole aay of very intense pain! In snow and cold weather! She was so incredibly brave and she taught me so much and give me firm guidance on how to live, what is important, how to love and be brave.

    Three weeks after her death I organized a run in her memory. It was an incredible gathering of all of our friends, more than 130 people came to honor her and to raise awareness about melanoma.

    You can see some pictures here:

    https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10153355251800702.1073741839.289083475701&type=3

    Some people ran for their very first time and managed the 4,2 km run, which was very inspiring and exactly what Darja would want :-) We also raised 930 EUR which I will be donating to MIF.

    I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank Catherine and all the other users of the MIF forum – you’ve been so helpful in the last months. It is incredible how a single post of good hope and experience can cheer you up, give you hope and above all – give you the strength you need to cope with it. I remember one post that literally gave me hope and strength for a month that I could pass on. It really meant a lot! Thank you very much!

    All of you brothers and sisters, NEVER GIVE UP, live every moment with your loved ones to the fullest, be brave and be strong! And remember never in the history was there more options for melanoma than now.

    Be brave, be strong, seize each and every minute with your loved ones!

    Rest in peace my love, I will always love you!!!!!

    Andy (Andrej)

    #62910
    Violeta
    Participant

    Thanks Andy, your post is so beautiful. I will keep always your words in my mind. My sister is ill and this changed forever my life. But I will not give up. I hope she will not give up too.

    Live like your wife advised you, she was an amassing woman! I wish you all the best.

    #62911
    AndyT
    Participant

    Dear Violeta,

    thank you for your post. I wish all the best to you and your sister. She’s got some good medication going on :) And as patient no# 1 said:

    “As my friend Jim Morris sings, “No one ever said this would be easy, and it looks like no one was right.” That’s how I do it — every day. Keep moving forward, no matter how hard that day hits. Rock was right; this is how winning is done. I am winning my battle this way. Go believe you can win yours.” http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/patient1/Patient-1-Staying-mentally-strong.html

    Seize every moment, be strong, provide hope and strength!

    #62912
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Andy:

    Man, I’m so terribly sorry you lost your wife to this heartless disease. Joining this “club” just sucks. I’ve found no better description.

    But what a great tribute to her the race was (!!) and we do indeed need to learn as much as we can (and share it) and live as much as we can despite our losses. But we’re up to the task despite the pain and I’ve found it very healing for myself.

    What a great attitude you have!

    Time to take care of yourself now. Do you have children?

    Jeff

    #62913
    dkmc
    Participant

    Andy- thank you for your post. It is such a hard thing to watch our loved ones go through fighting melanoma. What a wonderful tribute to your wife. What a wonderful circle of love from your friends. As Jeff said no one wants to join this club but somehow, if we can get there… there is a peace, I’m not sure this is the right word…of going through this journey with your loved one. Sometimes I am there and sometimes not feeling so strong but I have hope. God bless you and your words of encouragement just as you have suffered this huge loss. Karen

    #62914
    tbeau
    Participant

    Andy:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. She clearly had a wonderful support system and a wonderful partner. Your post is a beautiful tribute to that. Thank you for sharing your grief and experience with us. You have provided so many words of wisdom in one post. Take care of yourself.

    #62915
    Catherine Poole
    Keymaster

    Andy,

    What a lovely tribute to your wife and just wise advice to us all, whether or not we are facing this terrible thing, we need to enjoy each moment with our loved ones. We have taken your post and put it onto our facebook as well to share with more people. Thank you for thinking of others too, during this terribly stressful time.

    #62916
    SteveH230
    Participant

    Andy,

    I am so sorry. I remember messgaging with you about PD-1 trial criteria not too long ago. My Heather passed a few days ago, so I am right there with you grieving brother. Our wives are no longer in pain and perhaps they have even met each other already in heaven. Thank you for your positivity and encouragement, your wife was blessed to have you on her side.

    Bless you,

    Steve

    #62917
    AndyT
    Participant

    Steve, the post I was refering to was yours.

    Take care my grieving brother:( Mail me if you need someone to talk to.

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