Home Forums Melanoma: Newly Diagnosed – Stages I & II Not sure what I am supposed to feel…

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  • #20453
    Onlymej
    Participant

    So a little background, was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with a lentino maligna, in situ on my arm . Had a wle this week with 1 cm margins, derm dr called 2 days later, they must have rushed it for me because they knew I was worried about results, biopsy had gotten all bad cells nd there is no invasive disease so stage 0.

    So why don’t I feel more relieved? Don’t get me wrong, I know others have much heavier burdens and I am thankful this was caught early, but I am still not sure what I am sposed to feel? Happy? I am not happy I had a melanoma on my arm. Now I have to worry about another for the rest of my life.

    I am in between the thoughts that this is no big deal at all and I can just forget about it , well except for skin checks, and that I am in serious danger. Don’t know what I am supposed to feel? The dermatologist at a well known center said I do not have to worry about it anymore, it’s gone and over with…..

    #55324
    Worrywart
    Participant

    These feelings are totally normal. I am 4 years out from my MIS (also on my arm) and I think of melanoma less and less. I don’t lose sleep over it anymore. Do you have any hobbies or is there anything you’ve always wanted to do but have put it off? Maybe focus all your energy on something else, and trust that time heals.

    #55325
    Onlymej
    Participant

    Worrywart , thank you for your kind and valuable reply. That helps.

    I just feel like everyone around me is frustrated with me if I act like this was a big deal, I mean they feel well you had a bad spot and now it’s gone, so what? But I feel like damaged goods and I am scared. I have gotten very little sympathy, from anyone!

    Also, today for example we went on a boat ride witn friends, I put 70 SPF on and a t shirt, well it was 100 degrees today and there was no shade. I don’t know if I should tell them, I can’t go now? I just don’t know how scared I am supposed to feel.

    Do you feel scared all the time in the sun? We have a pool and my daughter is small so she likes to go in it.

    I go from thinking what happened could not be real, and being just horrified. I mean in situ is 100 cure rate right? No one properly treated and diagnosed can die from this, fact ?

    It’s good to know others felt the same way…..

    #55326
    Worrywart
    Participant

    Most of my family didn’t think it was a big deal either, it was annoying!

    When I was first diagnosed I had plans two days after WLE to go to US Women’s Open Golf tournament. It was like 100 degrees outside and I wore jeans, a long sleeve shirt, a hat sunglasses and running shoes! I was SO paranoid about the sun. I was SO hot and sweaty and uncomfortable. I remained 100% sun-free for probably a year or more – and then I slowly started to lose my fear of it. I was sun-smart, but not paranoid. Now I go to the pool with my kids 3 x a week. I wear a hat and sunscreen but don’t really do anything differently other than that. I still go during peak sun hours. You have to hear, it rains/lightenings almost every afternoon in the summer in Colorado. I also get a chair in shade. Vit D is important too, so i do believe in getting some sun. I’m probably more tan than I should be this summer. I see my derm at the pool (he works out at my gym) and he’s given me a hard time. He does always remind me to live life first!

    #55327
    Worrywart
    Participant

    meant to say “You have to HERE, not hear!” oops

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