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August 25, 2012 at 11:03 pm #20586jeffbGuest
At 11:20 am, surrounded by many family members and friends. Her death was peaceful and without pain.
I will miss her terribly.
JeffAugust 26, 2012 at 2:57 am #56237abdormaParticipant
Just logged on and am so so sorry to hear that Rachel lost her battle with this disease. There are really no words that will bring you comfort. But you were such a great partner and advocate for her in this journey and I hope you find solace in knowing that you did so much for her in her fight with melanoma.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son and all of Rachel’s extended family and friends. You have been such a source of coaching and strength to others on this forum and I sincerely hope you are surrounded by love and support right now. I picture Rachel bouncing on the tube behind the boat just a few short weeks ago. What a gift that trip was for you guys.
annAugust 26, 2012 at 11:40 am #56238Catherine PooleKeymaster
I’m so sorry to hear this. You worked so hard to find therapies for Rachel and to deal with the anguish of disappointments. I pray you are surrounded by many close loved ones to cushion you during these tough days. We are always here to support you too and you are not alone with what you have endured. You have my deepest sympathy. Take good care of yourself.August 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm #56239jmmmParticipant
I don’t know what to say other than I’m so sorry. You both fought so hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you try to get through these next few days, weeks and months.August 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm #56240AnonymousGuest Thank you to all of my friends here. She was truly special.
Always encouraging me and others.
I’ll still post here as I think it’s important that those of us former caregivers can encourage those that are still in the fight.
There is life and therefore growth no matter what.
JeffAugust 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm #56241DadZGirlParticipant
So sorry to hear about Rachel’s passing.
Thanks for all you do for each of us.
It is more than you can know.
LauraAugust 27, 2012 at 12:32 am #56242dkmcParticipant
Jeff – I just logged on & my heart is so heavy after hearing your news. You both worked so hard to find treatments & you shared with us all some of your deepest emotions & fears. You made me feel a little less alone in this fight against melanoma. I am so so sorry for your loss of Rachel. God bless you & your loved ones…KarenAugust 27, 2012 at 4:53 am #56243AussieGranParticipant Dearest Jeff
Just logged on and saw your very sad news. I have not been on-line for sometime. You may remember I lost my dearest mum who lived with us 4 months ago. I feel so terribly sad for you as you have been supporting your loved Rachel every step of the way and so devoted. For me, that unrelenting and unconditional love and support was such a hard journey. I know it will be hard for you but you really have been doing the hard yards already and at least you have peace now that you did so much – I think this will make your forward a bit easier. Lots of love. PennyAugust 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm #56244Sillymommyof3Participant
am so sad for you and your family and know how you feel. On Monday at 11:10 am I lost my 51 year old mom. She too was surrounded by her 3 children and husband of 33 years. She wasn’t in any pain, she just stopped breathing in her sleep. It’s about as peaceful a way to go after enduring so much.September 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm #56245bettinParticipant Dear Jeff,
I just saw your post- I am so, so sorry you lost your wife. When Peter died I was glad he no longer had to suffer, this suffering was unbearable to watch and I don’t know how he managed to stay so put together while this beast ate him alive.
Apart from the relief that the suffering has come to an end- it is hard. Hold on to your memories of good times and what you’ve shared- no one and nothing will be able to take that away from you!
BettinaSeptember 14, 2012 at 4:49 am #56246abdormaParticipant
I been wondering how you are doing these days and when I saw your post regarding pallative radiation, I thought I’d drop you a line here and check in.
You are very generous in spirit to continue to offer your knowledge and experiences with various treatments used by Rachel.
I read the link you provided about Rachel and it was so obvious that she had made a big impact on your community and led a life focused on improving the lot of others. I hope that you are finding some comfort these days in remembering your life together and have lots of friends and family still supporting you.
Let us know how you are doing.
AnnSeptember 16, 2012 at 11:53 am #56247Catherine PooleKeymaster
I second that! I read about the telescope too, and thought what a terrific way to remember someone. It will be perpetual as many learn about the sky and the universe. Thanks Jeff for all of the wisdom you continue to impart on us here.September 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm #56248AnonymousGuest
Thank you for the kind responses. It’s been three weeks now and the fact that Rachel’s gone is really settling in now. It seems sometimes like she’s still here. I have several breakdown moments each day, usually one in the morning before work, one in the evening when I come home and one around bedtime. But I’m ok and moving forward. I’ve gone back to work and that really helps. It’s a fine art and a balancing act for me to keep busy, but not too busy so that I can still deeply grieve, but also busy enough so that I don’t stew in it for extended periods of time. That balancing act also changes day by day too. But there are times when the reality of it all just takes my breath away. I miss her.
My sister-in-law Martha stayed here three weeks. Rachel and her were particularly close and Martha was having a very hard time (still is actually).
She’s was wonderful though (!!), helping with my mother-in-law’s care (she will be moving to another sister-in-laws place next weekend) and helping me distribute Rachels’s clothing amongst the other sisters (almost all of whom have the same dress and shoe sizes), and especially, cleaning out Rachel’s judges chambers at the Court of Appeals. The staff, including some of the other judges, had a hard time helping with that too.
Rachel was just a wonderful person, who gave freely of her time and treasure. She was the perfect public servant. There were ~2500-3000 people who attended her visitation (some of whom waited in line for 2+ hours), which was held in the rotunda of the county administration building, along with an honor guard. Two of the Ohio supreme court justices came as they were close friends of Rachel. Once I commented to someone I was greeting that I could not believe what the county was doing for Rachel. Without blinking an eye she shot back “Why this is just a reflection of what she did for the community”. Two young women commented that Rachel “Saved my life” when she had them removed from their abusive homes when they were children and Rachel was the elected prosecutor. Rachel maintained contact and mentored them. They are now in law school.
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