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June 5, 2013 at 8:23 pm #21340Jdk27Participant
HI guys, this goes along the lines with a post from before, about not being able to talk to anyone. I have heard more and more people say “it is just skin cancer, it can be cut out” and “its no big deal” I actually had someone at work tell me “its not a big deal, why do you need 2 weeks off?” Really? I had 2 melanoma insitu and 2 melanomas taken off me at the same time. Leg 5 inch scar, belly has 2 3inch scars and bicep, and I bend over alot at work as I do pedicures all day long. a month later Had a 5th one taken off of my back 3 1/2 inches, and you want me to bend over? Okay, at least the owner was very compassiontate about it as his 50 year old brother dies 3 years ago of Melanoma.
I am frustrated as no ones talkes and act like it is over….ok, have this group to vent to, but wish I could get my hubby to understand how I am feeling. Everyone thinks its over, maybe the spots are gone, but, I am feeling sad and fearful at times like I have said in a previous post. Now,2 and 1/2 weeks after the last surgery, I am feeling so very tired, so tired I cant think straight. I mean EXHAUSTED. He doesnt understand why I am so tired, and I am not sure either. is it stress? has anyone else felt this way? He is frustrated because I havent been into sex lately…..I am TOO damn TIRED to even try to…I want to, I want to be intimate with the love of my life, I just cant seemt to stay awake long enough. I did start back to work 3 days a week and that usually exhaust me because its such a physical job, pedi after pedi, doing it for 23 years and I am now 51 so maybe that is why I am tired. (dont want to admit I am getting older…)
Thank you all for your suport.June 6, 2013 at 12:33 am #610957spiderParticipant
Hey I know how ya feel. I am also 51 and I find myself wore out a lot quicker than the past. I think its mostly the age thing but I know last year after my surgery I was pooped mentally and physically. This year feeling a lil better. I do daytime naps for an hour or two and that helps me too. Just try some different stuff and see what works for you. I think we are still too young for rocking chairs, but I’d be willing to try one. Hope ya feel better.June 6, 2013 at 2:01 am #61096SznnParticipant You might want to get your thyroid tested. If it is out of whack you will feel exhausted, I went through all that too 🙄June 6, 2013 at 2:54 pm #61097Catherine PooleKeymaster Stress causes anxiety and depression. Depression causes us to be tired a lot. If physical causes are ruled out (Blood work for anemia etc) then I would seek mental health counseling. Depression is very curable. I know I look forward to bedtime now when I used to love to stay up all night long!June 6, 2013 at 3:10 pm #61098wpatterson4ParticipantQuote:
I have heard more and more people say “it is just skin cancer, it can be cut out” and “its no big deal”
Some of those people are just ignorant of the facts, but others know good and well that it’s more serious than that; they just don’t want to face it.
Funny, isn’t it? People will jump over furniture and other people to ask you about something personal that you absolutely don’t want to talk about, but they think you should just put something like this behind you so they don’t have to think about it. Who’s comforting whom in this situation?June 6, 2013 at 3:21 pm #61099wpatterson4Participant
I’m not so sure it’s the age thing. Anxiety is physically exhausting. Not only do I have to deal with anxiety that is directly caused by thinking about melanoma, my reactions to unrelated negative events and situations have become more intense.
This situation has made me very neurotic. I’ll bet the same forces are at work in your case. I hope for all our sakes that it gets better as time goes by.June 7, 2013 at 12:35 am #61100Lisa_hoffmanParticipant
I feel for you, JDK. I’m right there with you. My last surgery was on my shoulder blade, I’m a nurse and I have a lot of reaching and bending, and pulling at my incision. People who haven’t gone through it and don’t understand the fear and the stress try to down play it so they don’t make you more upset. It makes them uncomfortable to talk about it because its a heavy topic. So I think they try to make light of it without realizing how you might feel. I have days where I don’t even think about it and I look in the mirror without noticing all my scars. And I have days where I’m terrified and I bawl my eyes out for a half hour… I just try to keep my head up. Be as proactive as you can- see your derm as often as they recommend, eat healthy, take care of the things you can control. As far as being tired, you might want to have a CBC done to see if anything is causing it. I obviously can’t be in the sun with a history of melanoma, and as a result have a very low vitamin D level. The supplements have helped me to feel better. I’m still new to this forum but I have to say, seeing that other people feel the same as me has helped TREMENDOUSLY.June 7, 2013 at 2:44 pm #611017spiderParticipant Hey wbpatterson, Yes I agree w/ you to a certain extent. Sometimes its an accumulation of things going on in ones life and this melanoma crap really can a will blow your mind. I may sound a little crazy but really, I’m not. I worry about this and other stuff all the time, however I have learned it helps me to lighten up a little and move forward as best as I can. I certaintly don’t have all the answers I just try to deal with it the best I can and only have good wishes for anybody involved in any shape or form with melanoma. Thanks for your comment.June 11, 2013 at 7:51 pm #61102sarahwyoParticipant I can totally relate with people saying o it’s just skin cancer.. it’s nothing just cut it out and go on with it.. Well i’m normally in the dr’s office every 3 months and haven’t left there once in 3 years without having at least one mole cut out. I tell people i used to be ninja i might look bad but you should see the other guy. So anyways been diagnosed with over 6 spots of all IIB melanoma, for the past couple months my belly button had been kinda itchy and sore… i seriously never thought anything of it cause i have the weirdest belly button ever. half inny and have outty but very very deep. I never look in or even touch it for that matter cause it is sooo deep that it hurts to mess with it.. always has. Finally the other day the itch got the best of me standing in front of the mirror i looked inside and cried as soon as i did it’s a huge black, blue, red, almost orange in some places. saw the dr right away. I go in tomorrow to have my whole belly button removed. I am totally freaked. I know it’s going to hurt worse than any others and my coworkers are simply not understand how serious this one is. it’s bigger than almost all images on line. My family is concerned of course but i also down play it to them. I’ve felt like crap the past couple months and the doctors have more or less told me there was nothing wrong with me. I’m a normally very healthy 30year old female. honestly i’m just scared that this one has spreadJune 13, 2013 at 8:27 pm #61103LaurieParticipant jdk & others,
I will be 55 this year. Anxiety (especially if you feel all alone) can make you feel exhausted. I suffered from exhaustion long before I was ever diagnosed with my melanoma in-situs. I finally went to my internist and proceeded to cry. He took my blood, ran all the necessary tests (thyroid was fine) and he listened to me. After ruling out the physical issues, we started working on my mental state. I was depressed. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I started on a very low dose of anti-depression medication (lexapro) and along with therapy and physical activity I started becoming my old self. I still take the low dose medication. For your own sake, go to your regular physician to rule out physical issues being the cause.
A couple of people mentioned the Vitamin D deficiency as well. I have taken Catherine’s advice and try to get some sunshine prior to 10:00am (or after 5pm) for 15 minutes as often as possible. I am coming up on my next quarterly skin check and I can feel my anxiety increasing; this is normal for me I just try not to let it take over. When it does, I either come here for support or to my husband (who has been very supportive). I know I am very lucky to have his support.
I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon. I certainly know that ‘exhausted’ feeling; and you are not alone. We are all here for you.
LaurieJune 14, 2013 at 12:20 pm #61104Catherine PooleKeymaster
Thanks Laurie. I don’t know (soapbox time) why our society doesn’t recognize depression as a genuine illness much like melanoma is dissed as just skin cancer. Is it ignorance? Taboo? But anxiety and the fright and flight syndrome of having your life threatened (melanoma) causes depression. Our minds and bodies work together! I know one melanoma center that offers counseling as part of the treatment. This is optimal!! Laurie was lucky to have a sensitive GP.
I highly recommend meditation/relaxation exercise in addition to counseling to get that energy back that we lose obsessing about melanoma. Take lots of deep breaths too.June 14, 2013 at 4:07 pm #61105Andres98Participant
You firstly need to to treat your mental wellness when a person stays mentally well he doesn’t really need to do anything else.
Keep yourself mentally fresh participate in physical activities and do stuff which keeps you well.
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