Home Forums Melanoma: Newly Diagnosed – Stages I & II WLE on neck – will I be able to hide it from my children ?

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #21812
    tickyloo
    Participant

    Hello

    I am hoping someone can help me. I was recently diagnosed with two malignant melamomas one on my neck .4mm and one on my toe .25mm.

    After the biopsies it was a ok to tell my 6 & 8 yr old that Mummy fell ! and cut herself and that was ok but I am wondering if that will work with the WLE ?

    I am having them two weeks apart with the neck this Friday. My scar is a little over 12mm in an oval shape. Can I get away with this do you think ?

    I cant seem to find anything visual about WLEs ( other than REALLY scary stuff ) to guage it on ?

    Its a school holiday on the day of the neck one so Im trying to figure out if my kids should wait with my husband and see me come out or I go by myself.

    Input VERY much appreciated on this please

    #63604
    Prd10
    Participant

    Hi,

    I can’t answer if it’s physically possible to hide the wounds, in my case it wasn’t, but I will say I think you are better off telling them. I think the scenarios they can run in their heads will be far worse than just being honest. I can tell you that we handled each kid a little different according to their age, comprehension, coping skills, etc. We all call it my shark bite (that’s what it looks like) and they know that I have frequent trips to the dr to check up on my shark bite. They get nervous when I have to go to the dr (we all do!) but otherwise they don’t think about it much. I hate to say this to you because I know it sucks but this will be a part of your life forever (and theirs) and it will just be easier to explain it to them now.

    Take care

    #63605
    TreeFrog
    Participant

    Hi Tickyloo,

    Depending on how much slack there is in the skin where the WLE is done, the closed incision is usually at least 2 inches long and sometimes longer. This is where having “turkey neck” would be an advantage! However, in any case, you may have quite a large bandage on your neck – no possibility of pretending nothing much happened.

    I agree with the above … be up-front with your kids, perhaps telling them the doctor took off a ‘bad mole’. Let them know you are fine and the bandage will come off soon and it’s just sore. They’ll understand. They can even help you watch it heal up.

    Best wishes,

    ~Wendy

    (wle on leg 2011)

    #63606
    Catherine Poole
    Keymaster

    Sometimes when you withhold information from your children and close people, they will think something much worst is going on! Honesty is best policy. My two year old called my melanoma my “bad spot” like on an apple that needed to be cut off!

    #63607
    Worrywart
    Participant

    Why wouldn’t you tell your children about it? Even at 6 and 8 telling them that you had melanoma could save THEIR lives in the future. You want them to remember it, to always be watching their skin, and to know that sun safety is important. You don’t want them to look back and go – hmmm, mommy had some surgery on her neck but we don’t know what for??…you want them to think, I need to watch my skin for anything that changes, and be sun safe, because mommy had melanoma and that is serious stuff!

    #63608
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I had a excision on my neck for melanoma in July 2010.

    After about one year scar disappeared.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • The forum ‘Melanoma: Newly Diagnosed – Stages I & II’ is closed to new topics and replies.