Facing the end

This forum was created for those with an incredibly hard task: taking care of someone they love who is ill.
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Catherine Poole
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:09 am

Facing the end

Post by Catherine Poole » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:46 am

We are now facing the end of life and it is so odd how I thought it would be.I'm without words as I grieve this impending loss. I wanted to share something that I think could be appropriate for others here:

"Disease can be an arbitrary act of nature and an affront to the humanity of its victims. If there is wisdom to found, it must be in the knowledge that human beings are capable of the kind of love and loyalty that transcends not only the physical debasement but even the spiritual weariness of sorrow." Sherwin Nuland
Catherine M. Poole, President/Founder
Melanoma International Foundation

Posts: 86
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:29 pm

Re: Facing the end

Post by PhillyRed » Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:51 pm

Hi Catherine,

I was saddened to read your post. So sorry to hear that he is now near the end. I will keep you close in my thoughts. I hope your memories of your time together will provide you comfort, and that eventually they will again be in your forethoughts, and overshadow the present painful memories. May you be surrounded by family and friends at this most difficult time and allow yourself to lean on them for support and strength. Finally, be at peace with yourself; I know that you have been a tireless, courageous, and valiant warrior on his behalf on many fronts throughout his illness. Allow yourself to rest and grieve for as long as you need.

My best regards,
Philly Red

Posts: 531
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:19 pm

Re: Facing the end

Post by jeffb » Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:34 pm

I'm so sorry Catherine to here your love is close to the end of his life. It's painful to feel the advent of that final separation. I believe there is not greater grief than the loss of a close loved one, a spouse, partner or child. I'm sorry.

You have been a simply wonderful partner and caregiver to him. He has been blessed to have you by his side. And remember from John 15:13 :

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." This includes husbands and lovers.

Though at times you may have sincerely wished and offered to trade places with him, you have indeed willingly laid down parts of your life freely and without any expectation for anything in return. You did this with every doctors appointment, car ride, feeding, changing, comforting and all the other small and not so small things you have done for him daily to help him in his journey.

Catherine, there is not greater love.

He and He thanks you.

I can honestly tell you that the intense feeling of loss, grief and even anger will indeed pass and be replaced slowly by a peace and serenity that you will find at your own pace.

It takes time. Take your time, don't hurry.

With Great Respect:


Posts: 73
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:47 am

Re: Facing the end

Post by marta010 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:41 am

Catherine - I am so sorry for your loss - not only the loss of your partner but of the future you had envisioned. You have been so supportive of this community and an inspiration as a caregiver. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this terrible journey. May your partner be at a place of peaceful rest and may you find some small comfort that he is in a better place. My sincere condolences.


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